Ninety Thousand Years of Detention #993277

Ethan Cole hasn't slept in three days. Every time he closes his eyes, something with claws is waiting for him — and he dies. Again. And again. His doctor thinks it's stress. His doctor is wrong.
It isn't a nightmare. It's an entrance exam.
Ethan has just been drafted — without so much as a consent form — into the Sel Alliance's survival curriculum: ninety thousand years of mandatory education spanning worlds he can't pronounce, taught by an AI proctor with the bedside manner of a parking ticket. His current survival rating? Less than one percent. His chances of finishing the semester? Worse.
Back on Earth, nobody asked to be part of this either. Governments scramble, fleets mobilize, and the planet gets front-row seats to a war it can't understand, let alone win — while somewhere in a world with no word for "yesterday," another draftee is learning the hard way that poverty has a very specific taste, and it's green.
Grades are mandatory. Consent was never on the syllabus. Class is officially in session.
A complete, standalone story — equal parts galaxy-brained absurdity and white-knuckle survival, for readers who like their sci-fi with a body count and a sense of humor.