Love, Woman, Marriage - The Grand Secret! A Book for the Heartful #265166

Young Mr. Gumbs undertook to start a paper out in Cambria county a short time ago. He called it the Cambria Milky Way. He said, in his prospectus, that he intended to make the Milky Way lively, spicy, vigorous, fearless, and entertaining; and he did. In the first number he called the editor of the rival paper "a diabolical liar, an unmitigated scoundrel, and a remorseless assassin." He alluded to the Mayor, in a cheerful paragraph, as "a corrupt magistrate, whose torments from the remorse which festered in his soul were only surpassed by the physical agony which is always the punishment of the depraved and riotous debauchee." He soothed the feelings of the postmaster with the remark that the "peculations of this official Dick Turpin can be compared to nothing but the terrific robberies committed in the past by those dastardly Spanish buccaneers, whom he so closely resembles in general character." He announced, under the head of "Social Gossip," that a certain young man had been rejected the evening before by the lady of his love, and volunteered the information that "it was the wisest thing she could have done under the peculiar circumstances;" and he related how, upon the preceding day, he heard another youth, named Alexander Jones, remark to a friend that, "if anything will make a man feel juicy about the heart, it is to talk velvet to a pair of sky-colored eyes, by moonlight, in a clover field." The next edition of the paper was not issued at the regular time.