Uncle Sam's Abscess - Or Hell Upon Earth for U. S. Uncle Sam #270449

It's an inveterate fact - "Uncle Sam" is afflicted. Thorns in the flesh - messengers of Satan buffet him. I portray the malady, and prescribe its remedy. A Morbid Ulcerous Cancer afflicts the body-politic of America, I name it "U.S.A." - Uncle Sam's Abscess, or Hell upon Earth for U.S - Uncle Sam." The Abscess first appeared at the Top of the Head (of New York State.) Shifting its position it infected the vital parts (of Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois), and finally settled in the Heart (of the American Continent). There it swells so alarmingly as to shock the whole system (All true Citizens). The administration of Anti-Polygamy Act Physic of 1862, the Poland and other Pills (Bills) prove abortive; each dose fails to act - (the Acts are inoperative.) Quacks and timid Doctors lack skill or fear to lance. (I saw no regiments of Lancers there.) It needs Surgeons skilled in the use of scientific instruments, (Armstrong, Gatling, and Eighty-one ton Guns. "The aid of Foreign Skill was sought." (Secretary Evart's letter to the Foreign Powers).<br><br>Foreign Surgeons not understanding the case are ineffective. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, as the case may prove) circumstances forced me to a dire inside study of the matter, which made me familiar with both Disorder and Patient. It's a stubborn case, requiring prompt decisive action, and solid practical treatment. First, United States Bayonets must pierce and open it; then purge with Powders and Pills (both Ball and Shell from Cannon and Mortars of American Artillery), together with an injection of Grape, Canister, and Shrapnell. This will eradicate every taint of the foul blot, and restore the body-politic to robust health, and pristine vigor. Then will the Great Republic enjoy Life, Liberty, and Happiness; while mighty millions will rejoice that the power which Abolished Slavery also Emancipated Religion from the curse of Polygamy, Incest, Murder, and Crime. But, permit its continuance, then America's Noble Institutions - its true pride - will totter and fall; and Tyranny, Anarchy, and Oppression triumphantly reign. For the Utah Evil contains the seed of a most corrupt, cruel, and wicked Despotism. Though none can deny the existing Abscess, some may question my Remedy. Hence I suggest the milder, but less potent treatment, Disfranchisment, thereby cutting from the body-politic, every particle of this Foul Ulcer. For out it must come, or farewell to free Republican Institutions.